Being in a foreign country can make you feel a kind of disability when you do not know any of the language. I experienced this in Holland. I cannot say that I ever felt totally disabled because I had friends who could translate many things and help me with my communication difficulties. If I had gone alone, I could have faced difficulties that many disabled people face all the time .

Not knowing language makes you feel a bit like you are hearing impaired. To communicate with the others, you have to find other ways without speaking. Maybe some gestures can help but not much because they are so limited. Some basic communication seems possible; but without words it is difficult to communicate on academical issues, deeper understanding, or obtaining information. The first experience is disturbing and frustrating.  Does being different from the others exclude me from a group? Does being outside the conversation make me feel useless?

Because my colleagues were interested and experienced in disability issues, I didn’t feel so excluded.  First of all Melek, my translator, made sure I could follow the conversation. Also others in the team sometimes spoke Turkish and encouraged me to participate.  But still a feeling remained: however much information was translated, because I could not understand myself directly, there were times when I wanted more explanation.  However I stopped myself because there was not enough time and there were so many things to learn.  These were the times I thought “though I have missed some parts, my friends must have taken notes and I can get them later from them; I should not waste time asking.”

While writing these lines, it seems to me that I described the situation of disabled students in the classroom environment. Time is limited (remember the H+S clock without 12), like in a race.  In the hard race against time from primary school to university, a disabled student needs extra time, for repetion until s/he understands – and non-disabled students are held up in their race. So the disabled student can be unwanted, ignored or rejected by the others.  This is a  critical point that can block a disabled person leading a ‘normal’ life, when both non-disabled class mates and their parents see the disabled as a factor that weakens their chance in the race.

From the disabled student’s point of view, s/he must spend time until s/he understands and learns.As disability specialists we certainly want this. In my case in Holland it was my own decision to limit myself in asking again and wanting to understand everything because we only had 3 days. I think that many disabled students hold themselves back like this: being disabled, you have to put in more effort to do what others do: and that makes you tired. You also have to fight against internal barriers as well as external ones.

However many times I could not understand and didn’t want to interrupt, I was still able –with the team’s help - to follow enough to ask questions that needed to be asked  and influence the topic being discussed. 

My visit to the Netherlands made me think about this languistic experience of disability. I wanted to share this in the name of understanding what it means to be disabled and feeling emphaty with those who are disabled.